So I successfully completed the first module and, like 26 percent of the course, with the top grade VG. Since then, the second module "Knowledge Development in Multiprofessional Workplaces" has started seamlessly. Unfortunately, I can't necessarily say that it has got better. Although I now know when and what I have to take as my five exams, until 14 January, but oh well. 
 
It started with a rather forced discussion in which you had to describe your organisation, fragmentation and integration in the organisation and your profession. It was not graded and there was no feedback, it just had to be done. In the Three-Week Control, you only had to click that you would continue. Now the first assignment is due by 14 December. First of all, Abbott's work "The System of Professions" has to be read. So far so good, it provides a theoretical framework for the development of the characteristics of professions. Examples are the American and British systems with slight influences from French and mainly medical influences or examples of architects or lawyers.
 
But I have real problems with the homework. It's not even about understanding a theory, because that's not so difficult now, or at least you should be able to do it by the time you get to the Master's level. So task 1 "Explain how professions develop according to Abbott" is still doable. I can also manage Task 2: "Which conditions, and why, are of vital importance for a profession's prospects to establish itself as a strong profession according to Abbott?

But from then on it becomes quite demotivating for me and I really can't solve the task in that way. Because Germany is not Scandinavia and certainly not America or Great Britain. Professions according to Abbott's understanding and also like that, there are by definition not so many in Germany. In many cases we have professions and paraprofessions, but real professions are very narrowly defined in Germany. It is not without reason that the professionalisation debate in nursing has been going on for years, whereas doctors, lawyers and most craftsmen can solve the task without any problems, because they would be a profession. Task 3 begins with the words "Discuss Abbott's theories in relation to your profession and professional practice." Professional practice or professional action in the sense of professional and activity-typical processes is not a problem at all. I can also apply a lot of Abbot's theories. BUT seriously, if I take my profession as a prevention and health manager, I would be laughed at in Germany for calling it a profession, especially since that is not my job title. I am a clerk. So now you come, since when is "clerk" a profession. There are clerks in so many industries and most of them have nothing to do with each other. A clerk in a car insurance company has nothing in common with a clerk in a foreigners' registration office and nothing in common with a clerk in a university administration. So at least nothing that makes them a common profession. I work in the social system but I'm not a social worker, I have a designated area but I'm not a case manager, my clients have a defined problem but I don't create solutions in the sense that Abbott sees them. I have a profession, which is more like the English vocation, but a profession?

And so it is that part b) of the task is simply unanswerable for me without pulling something out of my fingers. I'm very good at transferring theories, but what would you think if it suddenly said "Relate these to your own profession and professional practice for example by discussing the questions below.

- What is particularly interesting/relevant, and why?

- What do you question, and why?

- Which new questions do this rise?

Well, I have many questions that arise. At the same time, the task has put me in a paralysing stupor. I don't know anything like that from my previous studies. My head is totally empty and full of questions at the same time. There are doubts and the headline is "Am I doing myself a favour academically, professionally and above all personally with this study?"

I find the isolation, which I didn't know from my APOLLON studies, almost unbearable. I miss the sensible but also relaxed exchange. I miss something like being able to discuss and reflect up here. I miss the applicability and even more I miss the organisation and structure. I still try to overlook things like changing formal standards (now we are at one-line with Vancouver Referencing System). But the fact that they don't even manage to enter the modules uniformly on the platform. On top of that, the course started 3 days too late and although several students asked again and again, no one noticed. The tutor is rather absent, and in contrast to the last module, nothing comes in between. (Yes, we're not in kindergarten, but at APOLLON you could at least enter into a teaching-learning dialogue).

So I'm frustrated all around, the study programme is dragging me down personally and I'm not enjoying it. For me, it's not a means to a professional end, it's brain jogging for me, it's compensation, well it used to be. I'm debating at the moment between waiting for the next module again and hoping it gets better or taking some time off to think about what I want. But maybe it's less about wanting and more about what actually feels like studying for me and the depth of joy and satisfaction I've always felt. I appreciate health sciences, like music it has its own melody, but right now it's not a symphony, rather it's an annoying cacophony. [All you people who think that's a swear word, no that has a fixed meaning in both linguistics and music].

At the moment I'm just annoyed, but maybe it's just like a puzzle game, you throw it in the corner because you can't get the ring off the rope and you lose your patience. And my patience thread is short now, very short.

Sorry, this has to be the most depressed blog in a long time. But what can I describe reality through rose-coloured glasses. On the other hand. I've finished my trial period ;) and I'm really happy about that.